40to40: 40 posts for 40 days until turning 40
“At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgement.” – Benjamin Franklin
I turned 40. That milestone in your life where….Well, I don’t really know what is supposed to happen when you turn 40. Everyone talks about being free and empowered. They say you worry less about things or become more comfortable with you. I personally think that folks realize 40 years is enough time to worry about bullshit. So whatever that bullshit is they let go of it and that becomes their defining turning 40 moment.
I told everyone I was letting go of my filter. Of course, I can’t truly do that. What I’m really doing is adjusting my filter. Some of my tact, subtlety, savvy, and awareness is from my own self consciousness. The rest is from paying attention to my surroundings and the people that occupy said surroundings. The self conscious part is what I am letting go of. People will be happy to know I am not ditching the surroundings and people part. Some were truly afraid of that. I enjoyed letting them think that would actually happen. Nope, I am reserving that luxury for 60. Then all bets are off and the filter will be completely burned.
I think that I have earned the right to let go of the inner kid who never wanted to seem out of place even if he was. The inner kid who never wanted to be caught off guard. The inner kid who wanted to know exactly how to maneuver in whatever space he was in. That kid has now agreed that some “F*ck it” can take over the next 20 years. How I carry my self is no longer self preservation, it is now a representation of how I feel…about you, the situation, global warming, hamburgers, chai lattes…basically, we will see how the wind blows.
I’m looking forward to seeing how things go. I am sure the next chapter in this adventure that has spanned 4 decades will be a well written one. God has a pretty good pen hand you know?
PSA: this message was written in the future for my birthday weekend (which was in the past) because I wanted a James Cameron like ending to my 40to40. *Insert evil grin and laugh here*
PSA again: Did you buy that? Was that clever and convincing? No? Hater.